|Posted on August 13, 2010 at 10:09 AM|
I noticed something pretty interesting over the week. I was at home watching movies. I had heard a lot about the movie Crash, so I had checked it out from the library. It was pretty interesting and eye-opening. It’s basically about the hidden and not-so-hidden prejudices that we all harbor. It was very real and very disturbing.
What interested me, though, was my abnormal reaction to it. Usually, I just watch a movie and that’s it. This time, I was profoundly affected by things that I normally barely even register. For instance, how the people in the movie treated each other. Not only was there blatant and subtle racism, but there was also disrespect and dismissal among those who claimed to care about one another. All of this hurt me quite a bit. In fact, I almost cried about the fact that these fictitious characters were filled with so much hate and anger. Part of that was realizing that these were a pretty fair representation of how we all really are. We live in a fallen world full of hate, anger, disrespect, and dismissal. How it must grieve God that we treat each other so.
I was also very disturbed by all the foul language. This is something that doesn’t usually bother me, since I can be pretty foul myself, but this time almost caused me to stop watching. I continued because I felt the topic was important, but every word almost slapped me across the face. Why would this be an issue now?
My mom suggested both reactions could stem from that fact that I’m on the road to being more accountable to God. I think she’s right (don’t tell her I said that). It appears that God is working in me already through more regular prayer, more open/compassionate heart, etc. Wow. I have only been listening to praise and worship music because that’s all I seem to want to do: praise Him. I have spent several hours each day reading His Word, or reading about His Word because I want to be immersed in all things Him and not me. This is pretty amazing. I feel like I’ve been spiritually asleep for 35 years and now my eyes are starting to open.