|Posted on August 26, 2009 at 5:41 PM|
Some of you know that I’ve been contemplating how much I talk. It’s a LOT, to understate. A few months ago, I mentioned thinking that I should be more deliberate about what I say. I’ve been doing that more in the last 2 weeks than all those months before. As a consequence, I’ve been much less talkative than usual. This could also be a result of less anxiety (one of the “symptoms” is excess chatter). Because of this, everyone at works asks me if I’m all right. I am. I’m just fine. I just don’t need to say as much as usual. I’m being more internal than external. It could also be from the influence of my introvert boyfriend. Who know? Maybe God is prepping me to speak less so I write more? That would be interesting, no?
My next step in being content internally would be to be ok with being alone; as it is, I HATE being alone or doing anything alone. Part of the reason for that is how extroverted I am, but it’s even more due to my anxiety. I have to learn to let that go, to be ok with hearing my own thoughts, etc. Of course, that’s hard to do with racing thoughts, so I hope this will get easier with therapy, better meds, neurofeedback, and of course God.