I work at a national helpline. A woman called yesteday to ask how to give some news to her finace. She was afraid to tell him. Over the half hour I spoke with her, I found out that she had been with this "douche" (thank you, Mel) since she was 16. Now they're engaged and will be married in 6 weeks. I asked her why she was afraid, and she hesitantly told me he had a bad temper. I asked her if he'd ever hit her. She was silent for a moment and then said, "Only twice." What?! He had clearly brainwashed this woman into thinking that EVER hitting her was ok. She said it was her fault she made him that angry. This cowardly piece of filth convinced her that she made him do it. I asked her if she forced his arm to raise and then dropped it on herself. Of course, she said no. I told her that she didn't "make" him do anything. He consciously made the decision to strike her. He put his desire to indulge in his anger above her importance in his life. That is absolutely inexcusable. Abusive men seem to think that hitting a woman makes them more manly somehow. It the exact opposite. How could they possibly think that overpowering someone who is weaker than them shows any kind of maturity? They are small, cowardly, primitive, unthinking, misogynistic, losers. My mother says we still have to love them as Christ would. I have a hard time having mercy for anyone who chooses to harm others just to make themselves feel powerful.